What Will I Do Without Her # 1
My mom calls me approximately 10 times a day (while I'm in the middle of something super urgent at work), not including the morning wake-up calls at 6 a.m. and late-night calls at midnight. My mom doesn't live in my time zone. She lives in +7 GMT. Do the math. If she calls me 10 times during my office-hours in addition to my wake-up call and at midnight, that means she never sleeps. She never sleeps because she can't sleep. She can't sleep because of me. I'm her source of constant worry, nightmare, sorrow, cause of inexistent cancer and other many imaginary pathologies.She called me (again) this morning at 6 a.m. while I was sleeping.
Me: ugh... hullo...?
Mother: Am I waking you up?
Me: ... no...
Mother: Well you sound like you've just woken up. Don't you think it's time to go to work?
Me: It's 6 a.m. and it's SATURDAY.
Mother: Do you know how old you are?
Me: .... ????!!! (What's she talking about? It's ##%&# 6 in the morning I went to bed at 2 a.m. I'm exhausted!!)
Mother: Do you realize that all your friends are all partners in firms and/or married with kids?
What do you have? Nothing.
Me: ... ... ...
Mother: Are you listening to me?
Me: uh... yes...
Mother: So why don't you answer the question?
Me: ... well, I don't have to answer to your question because you've answered it yourself.
Mother: oh, you are playing it smart, how dare you!
Me: ... ... ...
Mother: You've got nothing in life. You don't even own an apartment. How old you think you are?
Me: Well, I've got God.
Mother: Pathetic. (She hangs up)
Me: ugh... ... zzz ... zzz...
Telephone rings again.
Me: It's ##$@& # 6 a.m.!!!! Some people do work you know, I went to bed at 2 a.m. I need to sleep. Can't you understand???!!!??
Mother: Why are you so aggressive every time I call you???!!! No wonder you are still single.
(she hangs up, again)
Me: (well, now that I'm up, I need a strong coffee without milk).
Labels: Mommy dearest, Self derision
posted by The Little Prince's alter ego @ 7:26 PM
1 Comments:
My mom is a lot like that too. But ohh well atleast she loves me I guess. We live about 2500 miles away, but still feels like 100000 at times.
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