The Anti-Valentine Month # 3: Can women and men be friends?
... friendship is in the eyes of the beholder.Some women find friendship between a straight man and a straight woman to be more enlightening because they can easily talk about their (failed) relationships or anything related to sex without getting the judgmental look that women can often have towards another woman. More serioulsy, it takes two to make that kind of a relationship work. If that bond does not lead to any desire, it can surely be of the greatest value to their inner self; but for this to work, does the man have to be a priest and the woman a saint? Do I aspire to be a saint? Not really... but wouldn't that be fabulous? A true male friend... I thought I had found one, until my straight male friend met his newfound love. Is friendship between a man and a woman doomed once the man finds his love? It takes three to make that kind of a relationship work, unless, the man is gay, says my friend X.
According to my friend X, straight men cannot be bound by a long-term friendship with a woman because there's always sex involved (i.e., a fantasy of seeing the woman naked or an ego booster for the man, an unconscious fantasy that the woman friend is secretly in love with the man), unless the woman is truly unattractive.
Shit. I only have gay or straight male friends. Is that mean I'm ugly? The unbelievable truth is unleashed: my straight male friends are now coupled with leggy blonde women totally out of my league. And they no longer confide in me. Is that mean I was an ugly duckling go-to-girl with some wit and conversation that they needed while they were feeling lonely?
Okay, tomorrow, I'm making friends with women. I promise.
Labels: Relationships et al., Self derision
posted by The Little Prince's alter ego @ 9:33 PM
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