From Espresso to Coffee with Milk: Welcome to the "divorced with kids" box

Friday, May 05, 2006

Welcome to the "divorced with kids" box

I have two fantastic girlfriends from college, R and A. I've known them for the past 15 years. I don't remember how our relationship grew so close since we were (and still) so different. R and A are blonde, beautiful, with stiletto heels, but nonetheless super clever. R used to be a party animal, always out on "school nights," choosing her curriculum according to the time schedule: should the class be offered late afternoon/evening the better, never registering for the morning classes. My friend A was a flirt, jumping from one man to another. I was the serious, conservative (not to say uptight) friend. But somehow, they loved me. I loved them too. Now they are happily married, with two kids (one of them is expecting her third), have chosen their personal life over their too-demanding jobs. I became their only single girlfriend that they like to see, when they are fed up with baby talking and diapers. My singledom entertains them and they envy my reckless lifestyle. However, they feel somewhat insecure about the fact that I am still single, and thus have a passion for fixing me up on blind dates with their male friends. The downside of being single at the age of thirty something (okay mid-thirties) is that I am really not spoiled for choice. According to my girlfriends R and A, their single male friends are "fabulous, in good shape, the perfect age for a long-term relationship, now single freed from a recent relationship, and want to have a family." Translation: "fabulous at heart but not too good looking, short, between 40 to 45, recently divorced, with kids." When I shared this story with my mom, she said: "Welcome to the 'divorced with kids' box! Now you realize that the clock is ticking (Mom, which clock???), I was worried you were forgetting your real age." Did I miss the boat? Where was I when those supposedly fabulous single men were really single with no strings attached? Oh yes, I remember...! I was snowed under with my 6 digit salary, without seeing the daylight from my stale office.

Labels: Relationships et al., Self derision