The Anti-Valentine Month # 3: Can women and men be friends?
... friendship is in the eyes of the beholder. Some women find friendship between a straight man and a straight woman to be more enlightening because they can easily talk about their (failed) relationships or anything related to sex without getting the judgmental look that women can often have towards another woman. More serioulsy, it takes two to make that kind of a relationship work. If that bond does not lead to any desire, it can surely be of the greatest value to their inner self; but for this to work, does the man have to be a priest and the woman a saint? Do I aspire to be a saint? Not really... but wouldn't that be fabulous? A true male friend... I thought I had found one, until my straight male friend met his newfound love. Is friendship between a man and a woman doomed once the man finds his love? It takes three to make that kind of a relationship work, unless, the man is gay, says my friend X.
According to my friend X, straight men cannot be bound by a long-term friendship with a woman because there's always sex involved (i.e., a fantasy of seeing the woman naked or an ego booster for the man, an unconscious fantasy that the woman friend is secretly in love with the man), unless the woman is truly unattractive.
Shit. I only have gay or straight male friends. Is that mean I'm ugly? The unbelievable truth is unleashed: my straight male friends are now coupled with leggy blonde women totally out of my league. And they no longer confide in me. Is that mean I was an ugly duckling go-to-girl with some wit and conversation that they needed while they were feeling lonely? Okay, tomorrow, I'm making friends with women. I promise. Labels: Relationships et al., Self derision
The Anti-Valentine Month # 2: Saving the male
As I was heading home, I felt uncomfortable, something in the air that I couldn't picture quite clearly. A feeling of anxiety... an urgent need to uncover the constant agitation that surrounded me... And suddenly, I saw hundreds of men running around holding huge bouquets of red roses. Oh thank god, I get it, Valentine's day! As the traffic of men with red roses intensified, I slowly became a spectator of a sad picture show of men fearful of the repercussions if they accidentally failed to celebrate the feast of Saint Valentine. Ugh, women can be so fierce, sometimes. But shouldn't everyday be valentine's day for every couple?Labels: Relationships et al., Self derision
The Anti-Valentine Month # 1: Bashing the male neo-romantic stalker
Some men think that they are eagerly expected from the other party in the love transaction (i.e., women). They strive to teach women some “lessons” about life: they think women’s body language is the key; they watch for the telling spasms, the delirious moans, the subtle whispers in their ear while on the act, the touches, the moves, the words, the signs. Oh yes, THE signs. And they think the woman is their prey, for eternity.
Some men just think women like to be asked out in a direct, unromantic way, yet they should beware of spoiling the magic of the moment… but they think the worst case reaction from the other party in the love transaction would be a polite refusal with a shy(ish) smile that is in fact a strong, no-point-of-return objection.
Also some men are afraid of a strange virus that could be transmitted by the female gender. Oh God forbid, it’s not a STD. It’s related to reproduction. I agree, gentlemen, this is a well-founded fear, especially in overpopulated promiscuity-ridden modern cities where living in a tiny one-bedroom apartment is already a pure luxury. So usually, men like to opt for a “raincoat” throughout the rainy processes. Totally legitimate, after all, women are so unpredictable, we can never be sure of anyone nowadays…
One thing though for you gentlemen, abstain from considering women’s muteness as signaling acceptance and consent. Some women are well known for their lack of skills in saying the right thing at the right time, love or reproduction notwithstanding. Okay, I admit, maybe some women are notorious in picking the wrong people. Beware gents, in any case, we are very esoteric people. Never underestimate that.
Finally, just a word of advice gentlemen, some women just like to get in and out. They don’t want the chit chat.Labels: Relationships et al., Self derision
